Confessions from Independentmami - Then and Now

I have been very distant as a lot of things are going on here in our house.  I want to thank all of my dear readers that have been following my story for almost ten years now.  Ten years ago, I was a single mom just looking to share my story with other moms maybe facing the same trials and tribulations as I was. 

Let me bring you up to speed to all that has happened.  My baby boy is not so little any more.  Life has not been so easy as you can imagine there are several issues that come up when you are both mom and dad.  But I feel that what did not kill us only made us stronger.  They say boys are momma's boys, right?

The school years were long and hard for both of us.  Sometimes the finish line seemed impossible. 

But we made it.  My baby boy accomplished something many people take for granted.  Many kids get lost throughout the middle school and high school years.  They get overcome, overwhelmed, and just get over it.  Years later they realize that this accomplishment is one they wish they could go back to.

I am proud to say that baby boy graduated from the first energy high school in the US.  He has decided he would like to become a Mechanical Engineer.  After high school, we had a serious conversation of where he wanted to go from this point and what his next goal would be.  I have always told my son that the one thing I regret is not finishing college.  We both talked about his options and we enrolled him in community college.  He wanted to stay close to home and was not ready to leave far away just yet.

Fast forward to this winter.  My son asked to speak with me.  His tone was very serious.  I did not know what to think.  The conversation went deep.  My son told me he had decided to join the Navy.  Errrrrrrr..... freeze time.  What did he just say?  Don't get me wrong back when we had our conversation about goals and his future, we talked about the military being an option.  (1) one option out of the many options presented.  unfreeze time....

He had gone to the recruiters, taken the ASVAB, and signed on the dotted line.  There were lots of emotions going through my head.  I was so taken back because of the news.  Of course, i was proud.  My eighteen year old son was now taking on adult decisions without mom.  Very proud.  Scary because I mean, you know why.  I feel as time flew by from the time he told me to this past week. 

His ship day.  There are dates the get stitched in your head for some reason or another.  My son's ship date is one of them.  See the picture above, in this room, in this building, many men and women say good bye to family members to take on the commitment to serve our country, protect our freedom, and lay down their lives.  There is a swear in ceremony and shortly after, you say your see you laters.  They are bused over to take their flights and away they go to their boot camps. 

Woosaahhh..... I feel like life punched me in the gut just one good time right before I entered this room.  When we were asked were we ready, I started balling?  All my emotions hit me all at once.  Remember this is my baby boy, it has been me and him against the world for nineteen years now.  He will always be my baby boy no matter how old he gets or how many things he accomplishes.  The weekend before he left I was dying in bed with the flu.  I had a whole memorable weekend planned for us to share.  Because I was quarantined, we did not get to spend the last few precious moments together.  I did get to say my see you later to him, watch his ceremony, and hear his voice one last time once he landed.  This past week flew by and then this weekend came.  It finally caught up with me.  Something is missing.  There is an emptiness.  He has been gone before a week at a time but never for several weeks straight, much less months. 

My only comfort is that I know he will be able to call home, write letters, and this too shall pass.  Time will go by and soon enough we will be at his graduation. 

There you have it.  I have been absent minded trying to stay focused on the things that matter the most to me-FAMILY.